Thursday, May 28, 2009

Hitting the wall

This past week I have hit a massive brick wall. It's the same wall I have hit a hundred times before -- the wall of the dreaded PLATEAU. I have lost sixteen pounds since the beginning of the Project but a big fat ZERO in the last two weeks and I am pissed.

Let me first say that I am intellectually aware that this is normal. I understand that plateaus are a normal metabolic response to an extended period of time with restricted calories; that eventually it will break if I adjust my workout and my eating patterns; and that it is not a reason to go off the deep end. Intellectually, I get it. Emotionally, though, I am - how can I put this? - ready to knock the shit out of anything that moves. My scale, especially - that dispassionate machine that blinks its little digital screen at me and then beep-snorts in disgust after I step off. I want to pick that thing up and smash its little heart out with a hammer and spill its little light-emitting diodes all over the floor like blood and hear it gasp for mercy, like HAL in 2001. And I will laugh at its whimpering and go buy a new scale, one that is kinder and gentler and that understands that all I really want is for its numbers to go lower EVERY TIME I step on it, or I will gut it ruthlessly.

Did I mention that I put a on bathing suit this past weekend?

Probably that had nothing at all to do with my little tantrum towards the scale. Nope, not at all. After all, I am a Project Graduate and I have moved past those "thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to," haven't I? Shocks like the flesh of my thighs, which were blindingly white when I stepped out into the sun in my swimsuit. So white that from a distance, if you had seen my lower half, you would have thought my thighs were two loaves of frozen white bread dough sticking out of a Hefty bag.

But I'm over all that. Yes. So, I just wanted to pop into my blog and say Hi to all my fellow Grads, it was great to see you at class on Saturday, and now excuse me because I need to go buy a burqa, a vat of self-tanner and a new scale.


  1. Terri:
    I am so with you in the rage zone, although you are so much more humorous about it! This past week, I have eaten massive chocolate and heaps of smarties candies - who the hell still eats smarties at 44? I'm not feeling plateau so much as dreading when will the other shoe drops and my house of cards comes crashing down ... appreciation and patience seem hard to find. The only thing I know to do is reach out, try something new and drown out the crappy head chatter with the reality: You are in this for life, and it does have to end the same way it has before. You have already succeeded, you are lighter, healthier, more aware ... and you are a freakin' hilarious blogger! :)

  2. Terri, ditto, ditto, ditto....and ditto. Not so much rage for me but lack of motivation and "uumph"...I am living proof of the physics behind inertia these past few weeks. Eating habits so-so, work-out habits so-so, reading on the scale - no freaking movement up or down. The source of my funk has been elusive...self-investigation required.

    Appreciate that visual of you with breakstick legs....while an exaggeration, without doubt, I did very much enjoy it.

  3. Oh Terri- I miss you!
    Push past this- I know you can do it! And take out the scale if you need to, it is OK.
    I can totally appreciate the dough legs.
    See you in the burqua aisle!